Counseling

Your children will learn respectful behavior by watching the way you treat others. When they make a mistake, gently tell them what was done wrong and out of earshot of others. Let them see you respect ideas and beliefs that are different from yours. When you see your children acting respectfully, let them know that you noticed. Your words and attention will encourage them to show respect in the future.

• Talk with and listen to your kids – everyday. Research shows that adults are often the last to know when children are bullied or bully others. You can encourage your children to buck that trend by engaging in frequent conversations about their social lives.
• Spend time at school and recess. Research shows that 67% of bullying happens when adults are not present. Schools don’t have the resources to do it all and need parents’ help in reducing bullying.
• Be a good example of kindness and leadership. Your kids learn a lot about power relationships from watching you. When you get angry at a waiter, a sales clerk, another driver on the road, or even your child, you have a great opportunity to model effective communication techniques.
• Learn the signs. Most children don’t tell anyone (especially adults) that they’ve been bullied. It is therefore important for parents and teachers to recognize possible signs of being victimized.
• Create healthy and anti-bullying habits early. Help develop anti-bullying and anti-victimization habits early in your children – as early as preschool and kindergarten. Coach your children on what not to do – hitting, pushing, teasing, saying “na-na-na-na-na,” or being mean to others.
• Help your child’s school address bullying effectively. Whether your children have been bullied or not, you should know what their school is doing to address bullying, Research shows that “zero-tolerance” policies aren’t effective. What works better are ongoing educational programs that help create a healthy social climate in the school.
• Establish household rules about bullying. Your children need to hear from you explicitly that it’s not normal, OK, or tolerable for them to bully, to be bullied, or to stand and just watch other kids be bullied.
• Teach your children how to be a good witness or positive bystander. Research shows that kids who witness bullying feel powerless and seldom intervene. However, kids who take action can have a powerful and positive effect on the situation.
• Teach your child about cyberbullying. Children often do not realize what cyberbullying is. Cyberbullying includes sending mean, rude, vulgar, or threatening messages or images; posting sensitive, private information about another person; pretending to be someone else in order to make that person look bad; and intentionally excluding someone from an online group.
• Spread the word that bullying should not be a normal part of childhood. Some adults hesitate to act when they observe or hear about bullying because they think of bullying as a typical phase of childhood that must be endured or that it can help children “toughen up.” It is important for all adults to understand that bullying does not have to be a normal part of childhood.